Just feeding my current color crush.

from www.bloomstudios.etsy.com

I've noticed I have a thing for rings, yet I only ever wear my wedding band and diamond.

A Tale of Two Friends - Part 1

She was cheery and positive. Beautiful and stylish. I hated her at first, for being so darn adorable. But then...... she became like my soul sister. We had our own language. We told hilarious inside jokes. We laughed a lot and finished each other's sentences. We were together almost all the time; for awhile. Then life stepped in. She wasn't the person I thought she was before. Trust was broken. Hearts were heavy.

She was my best friend. I broke up with my best friend three times. Was it justifiable? Yes. Does it matter at this point? I'm not sure. I quit speaking to her the third time because she lied to me and betrayed one of my close friends. She broke my heart. Too many times.

I think of her all the time. I wonder if she is happy. I wonder if she ever smiles when she remembers what fun we had. I miss her. I miss her a lot. I broke up with my best friend to defend another friend. Was it worth it? No. But then again, none of us can know the course of our lives before it is taken. And maybe, just maybe, this is exactly how it was meant to be.

photo from www.orno.etsy.com (because she reminds me of her)

Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself

Who came up with that stupid saying anyway?!!! That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard! There are PLENTY of things to fear besides fear itself. PLENTY!! The moron who made that quote up has obviously never been in a motorcycle accident, been abused, been robbed, had their heart poured out onto the floor and stomped on, had cancer ......... ok. come on people. I could go on and on and on.

But lets talk a little bit about fearing something that you desire. Take, for instance, the brand new 2009 Honda CBR 1000RR. Just looking at this bike does things to me that I don't think I should share with the world. Both good and bad. This bike is beautiful. It kinda makes me want to put on something sexy and talk dirty to it (sorry mom). But it also kinda makes my skin crawl. Makes me shudder. You see, it was a similar beauty that so unlovingly took the skin off of my shoulder for me. And my back. And my booty. And a chunk out of my hip.

But the sun is shining today. It has warmed up a few degrees. And my heart has searched out this gorgeous bike to lust over. I can remember the way it used to feel to ride. I can smell the honeysuckle in the evening rushing up the front of my helmet. I can feel the warm summer air brushing the back of my neck. I can taste the rush. It makes my mouth water. And, now, it makes my blood run cold with fear. I fear it, yet I miss it. I am scared of it, but I desire it. Am I crazy? Ok. Yeah. Don't answer that. Haven't you ever desired something that you also feared?

Yeah. Thats right.

My head hurts and my neck hurts. Oh yes, and before I forget it, my knee hurts. After checking out a very long list of blogs, I am wondering why on earth no one is reading mine. ????? Anyone? Thats what I thought. And it has occured to me that what I really wish I could do in life is design and produce my own textiles. If I could design my own fabric, that would go a long way in helping bring all my crazy visions for bags and clothing to life. Man. Why does it take money to make money? I just don't have the resources for this sort of thing. BLAST!! And I would sooooooo love to print up some cards and such. I have so many ideas and no way to make them all happen. And I need to ask some questions about this whole ACEO thing going on with Etsy artists. Remind me to do that in the forums when things are up and running again. Holy GEES! why does my head feel like it has a hatchet buried in it? Furthermore, I would like to just mention that I am completely computer illiterate, which makes most of my endeavors more difficult. I keep wanting to do a few posts on some friendship things. But that may be too long and boring. But anyway. I love you. I mean, I guess I do. Even though you don't talk to me or put me on your lists to follow or anything. But I understand. Really I do. I'm just rambling out of my head. Which, by the way, is hurting a lot.

And it was all Yellow....

photo from www.katetowers.etsy.com

Feeding my current addiction to the color yellow is this amazing dress by Kate Towers on Etsy. I ran across it a few weeks ago and saved it to my faves and then saw it pop up on another blog last week.

The dress is crazy amazing and the color is ...... well...... it leaves me speechless. And what beautiful photography. I only wish that I could take photos that gorgeous. Which, speaking of, I am trying to re-vamp my own Etsy shop. I have some new items to get listed and some new ideas to work on. But at the top of my list is improving my photos. My current photos were taken in the dead of winter. It is still the dead of winter here, but at least the sun is trying to peek through a little more lately. I need some bright natural light. And I want to do some more creative things... props, makeup, styling. So wish me good luck on that.

Oh. And I need to work on a banner for my blog and get a photo of myself uploaded for the avatar. So much to do. So much to do. But right now I am admiring this dress. How about you?

"Yellow" or "Cleanliness and Design"

I adore this living room. So bright. So happy. So sunny. So clean. And this rug is amazing. And check out the lamp. Those are new this season. Fabulous design. Yellow is becoming my new favorite color. And I am not one to choose a favorite when it comes to color.

Just the other night I was showing my dear husband this picture from the new Pottery Barn catalog. I have never ordered anything from Pottery Barn. I wish I could. I can't afford it. But that's beside the point.

As I was saying, I was showing my hubby this photo that I just want to walk into and live in and ,at the same time, informing him that I could never imitate this look as long as I am living with him for it would be covered in mud and grease and oil. The rugs would be filthy. The sheets wouldn't come clean with clorox. That lovely rug in the living room wouldn't stand a chance.

My husband agreed. We can never have a white couch. We can never have a yellow rug. We can never even have white sheets (even though you should technically be clean when you are laying on them). No, my dears. I will never have a room like the ones above. But at least I have a nice warm husband to make up for it.

Having the Will

This lovely is from EZ over at Creature Comforts. And right when I needed it.

In my heart, I really have high hopes for my Etsy store. I have hopes of running a successful business. Hopes of building a full and ever-fresh shop. I even have some secret hopes of fulfilling other dreams. But reality has its way of holding us back. I work a full time job. I have a husband. I hardly have time to breath, much less create new things.

But deep down, I believe that I was meant to be something more than what I am now. I was meant to be more productive. More creative. Healthier. Happier. I was meant to bring a smile to others' faces. And I believe that I have the courage to become the person that God means for me to be. (well, courage in Him, at least.)

Are you the person that you were meant to be? Any advice on getting there?

Yummmmm.

Oh my gosh. This yummy creation came from an adorable shop on Etsy. www.thecupcakemint.etsy.com. GO THERE!!!!!

In the midst of dark and freezing cold days, this little jewel was just shining up at me like a bit of sunshine. Just looking at it makes me feel better. I'm sure that eating it would make me feel even better yet!

cold and low

Wreched depression is trying to wrap its wirey little claws around my neck again. I start to feel dead. Like not doing anything. Not cleaning. Not cooking. Not working. Not creating. Not loving. Just nothing.

At this particular point I am wondering if it is because I am not where I am supposed to be in my life. I am wondering if God has given me impossible ideas and actually expects me to carry them out. Does He really want me to climb out on this thin limb and jump with no wings? Seriously?

My life is becoming toxic. Where I work. Who I am around. What I breathe. What I hear. Maybe jumping is the only cure. What if jumping is the only cure?

photo by hightowerstudio on etsy.

Quiet Thinking

The first day of the year. Welcome to 2009. And just what does that mean, anyway? We all are inclined to feel like the beginning of a new year is a fresh start. But why do we feel that way? Yesterday and last week and last month are still there. They still happened. They still effect us.

Maybe human nature is to foster hope. Hope that the coming year will be better. Or hope that we will feel more in control of our lives this year. Hope that there will be improvements and advances. Hope for love and joy and peace.

Despite the complicated navigations around the human heart and mind, I pray that you all have hope for the coming year. And my hope is that it will be blessed. May we all move forward with honesty, understanding and gratitude. May we all slow down and breathe in the newness of each and every day.

God bless and Happy New Year to you.

*the lovely photo can be found at www.irenesuchocki.etsy.com.