So....... I've been reading back over my own blog this evening. Why do this, you ask? I really don't know. It just seemed like a good idea. But I am glad that I just wasted a few hours doing it, because I learned a few things.
I learned that there are a lot of things about me that you really don't know. Maybe it's best that way. Maybe not.
I learned that I crack myself up. My sense of humor runs a tad bit on the snarky side. And, honestly, I keep it pretty reserved on this blog. I actually have a pretty dirty sense of humor and I clean it up a good dose for all of you and omit several choice words.
I learned that you may think that my life at home is way better than it actually is. I'm not divulging any details on that one, but suffice it to say that things are not nearly as damn rosy as I have probably made them out to be. I don't tell you about the holes in the cabinets from me throwing things or the fact that me and the hubby do NOT always get along like peas and carrots. You know about the depression, but you do not know that I used to daydream about hurting myself. Why tell you that? I don't know. Maybe someone needs to know that there IS a frigging rainbow on the other side of the storm.
I learned that I feel better! Holy wow! No kidding. I hadn't really thought about it lately. You know how I'm always talking about how tired I am and how I feel like crap pretty much all the time? Yeah. I don't feel as much like that since I quit working at the shop. As a matter of fact, the last three times that I tried taking a nap, I couldn't! I am blowing my own mind with this one. News Flash: THE SHOP WAS LITERALLY KILLING ME!!!!!!
I learned that I talk a whole lot about art and inspiration and projects and such, but then I never show you what I am talking about. Actually, I tend to not follow through on a lot of things. It still shocks me that I even blog. I have NEVER kept a diary in my entire life. I just can't commit to writing on a regular basis. Which is also odd because I love to write. ( I also learned that I apologize way too much for not blogging regularly.)
So, loves. I just thought I would fill you in on that little revelation. Oh, yes. And the fact that I have been working with my brother for the past week. And I haven't taken one single nap! or even wanted to! I'm sorry, but I just can't get over it. Now if we could fix my girl parts and make sure that I never have a depression relapse, I would be cured!!!! Hells to the yizzeah!
Well, I feel better about life. Thanks for listening. And as always, Hugs and Sunshine to YOU ALL. Every single one of you. :)
4 comments:
I fell I may have missed a good part of this story but suffice it to say I am glad you are feeling better. Think that is probably the most important.
I too have never had nor wanted a diary and yet I enjoy blogging. Perhaps it is the interaction that some used to get through pen pals when snail mail was the rage.. ;)
M
I read over my blog from time to time. Some posts make me cringe, others make me laugh.
I've never gotten the impression that things are all sparkles and unicorns and cupcakes at home for you. Not that I get the impression that it's all smashed up cupboards, people screaming blue murder and pictures falling off the walls when doors are slammed hard either. I got the impression that your home life has its ups and downs, just like mine.
But yes! I have noticed that you seem so so so much happier now that you've left the smelly shop. How great is that! Just goes to show that work is a massive part of our lives and if you're not happy there, it can impact on every other aspect. I'm so glad you told them to jam their job.
I agree with what Matt said about pen pals. Sometimes blogging isn't about writing, but about keeping in touch with the people on the other side of the country or world that you've never met and probably never will. And that's fantastic. What a small world we live in.
Also, I think you should really unleash this dirty sense of humour. No need to censor anything! Especially of the choice word variety. God knows I love me some choice words.
Is this the longest comment I've EVER written?! Possibly. But whatever, I'm so happy you're feeling great. And you know what? If the depression does come back, you know you'll come out the other side because you've done it before and there's no reason you can't do it again. Of course, it would be ideal if that was never an issue but if it is, it can suck it because you'll kick its butt.
Have a great weekend, Madame :)
Hello Jo!
I hope you are having a great weekend. With Spring finally coming around, I personally feel more inspired than ever. Do you find that? The sun is so powerful, and right now, the sound of the most tiny birds in my garden make my day a little sweeter...
I agree with the first comment and see blogging as modern day penpals, too. In fact, some of the greatest friendships I have ever known have been build with thanks to blogging.
I have known you through blogging for some time now, and I have to say, I love that you truly express aspects of your life here. I built my blog in such a way that I cannot, but appreciate when others do. I have found that you have a little more spring in your step, so to speak, and I am happy that you are following your dreams. There is nothing easy about it, but I encourage you to do what you are so meant to do :)
I cry when I read about others going through depression, as someone very very close to me has gone through the same. The ripple effect makes my heart sore, and I want nothing more than for you to feel your best. You are so beautiful, inside and out. I only say that when I truly mean it.
Thinking of you,
Sarah
Hey Sweetie - Don't feel bad that we don't know everything about you, I feel like no one really knows me either. We all hide behind our pretty pictures and nice words and at the end of the day, does anyone really know us any better? Heck no. And do we want them to? Probably not! Because we all have holes in the cabines or partners that we don't always get along with... but hey, that's life! ;-) Keep smiling girl and know that we're all in the same big boat!
Love ya xo
Jen
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