Five years came and went without the blessing of seeing the ocean. Five years without hardly leaving the mountains. My heart ached for it like a long lost love. I even had dreams about it often and woke up homesick for a place that isn't even my home. But this year we went. The plans did not fall beautifully into place. The extra money did not magically present itself. It was a messy execution with too many plot twists to even discuss. Besides, that would subtract from the glory of it. The important thing is that I got to spend a week in my favorite home away from home.....Holden Beach, NC.
Apart from an unexpected beach trip, life clicks along uneventfully. These days are hard and they are humbling. They are a fair mix of joy and pain. Love and depression. Learning and changing. I would like to think that I have been changing for the better. Meeting myself daily and listening to what God has to say about who I really am. The ego has decreased bit by bit. I'm tired of doing things unnaturally. So I no longer fix my hair. I let it do its wild unpredictable thing. I let it grow. Who knows how long that will last, but I'm enjoying it now. I got rid of all but a select few pairs of heels in my closet. What's the point in having my feet hurt? I gotta stand on these babies for the rest of my life, hopefully, so I don't want to destroy them in the attempt to look "hot". Age inappropriate clothing is out the door, along with the too tight and the too low and the too constricting. It's time to breathe easy. It's time to not have to constantly check what I am wearing. It's time to be real.
And maybe it's time to blog again. Just maybe.
