True to You

Some things are just meant to be.
Like me and short hair. 

Pinterest makes me believe that if I grow my hair out it will be beautiful and silky and full of styling potential.  But the truth is, it never turns out that way, no matter how many ways I learn to style it. 

So, it's back to short hair for me.  And I love it!  I look in the mirror and recognize myself once again!

Hair Raising Education

from here.

Have you heard the one about the fifteen year old girl who gets kicked out of school because her hair is too Auburn?  It's not a joke.  Read about it. 

I think this is absolutely preposterous!  She didn't dye her hair some sort of Rainbow Bright color.  Just a pretty auburn red.  No big deal.  But apparently the faculty at her school thought it was a big deal.  But why? 

I know.  I know.  This is where teachers and parents everywhere are going to lecture me about the importance of encouraging natural beauty.  About how bright colors are distracting to other students (seriously?).  About having some sort of level playing field on the health and beauty front.  But, really.......what the hell? 

If you can't dye your hair electric blue and wear a tutu over your blue jeans while you're in school, then when can you?!  You all know where I stand on the degradation of our young women.  You know my stand on the unrealistic expectations that they are dealing with in our culture.  But we're talking about hair color here!  The middle school and high school years are when most youth are exploring their own identity.  Pushing fashion boundaries and having fun with their looks.  And I think that's a very important part of growing up.  As soon as they get out of school, these young adults are going to have to get jobs and live in the so-called grown up world.  The opportunity for self exploration will be lost, to a certain extent, or at least greatly reduced.

All I'm saying is this:  They're kids.  We need to be more concerned about keeping them from dangers like sex, drugs, alcohol, violence, and unhealthy body issues.  Let them experiment with their hair, makeup and clothes.  As long as they aren't being vulgar or degrading, what's the harm?  In my own humble opinion, if you let a girl explore her identity in healthy ways with your approval and guidance, then she will be less likely to explore her identity in harmful ways behind your back. 

Click on the link above to read the article.  I want you to see what the mother had to say about the issue.  Way to go, mom!!!

Fall Forward

from here.

I have to tell you, I'm really looking forward to Fall this year. 

If you have been reading this blog for a while, you should know that I have a soft spot in my heart for fall.  With all the changes that have been going on in my life lately, I feel like the coming season is going to be my chance to really shine.  Something good is gonna happen, I just know it.  

I always feel more like my true self in autumn.  And now, being at this particular place in my life, without a husband or significant other, I believe God is giving me the chance to let all my personality and quirkiness come to light and illuminate the path to my future. 

No holding back.  I'm running out of time to live my life.  And standing on the sidelines and watching my life go by without me, my friends, is just not an option.  Here's to new beginnings and everlasting hope. 

Hugs and Sunshine, my dolls.  Massive hugs and sunshine. 
~Jo~

In Training

I read an article in my latest Yoga Journal magazine last night about karma, written by Sally Kempton. It was a great lesson in taking responsibility for your own decisions and actions. But one particular bit of advice has rang in my ears all day.

She said that instead of beating yourself up about an area where you are experiencing negativity, "...why not simply remind yourself that you're learning how to handle a part of life that's been difficult for you?" Say to yourself, "This is an area where I'm in training."

Sometimes it can feel like we make the same mistakes over and over and over again, usually because we do. But instead of getting down about it and feeling like sinking instead of swimming, we should be a little more understanding with ourselves.

In my quest to be more true to myself, I have found that there are parts of who I am that I am not happy with. There are deeply rooted habits and tendencies in all of us that we need to shed some light on instead of hoping the shadows cover them. I, personally, have a tendency to be bitter, which can lead to hurting peoples feeling or not sharing in their joy the way that I should. Being bitter shuts me off from the world and alienates the people around me. I also have a deep desire for attention. This little trait can cause all sorts of trouble, from being too flirty to feeling entitled and expecting too much.

Instead of locking myself in the house or plastering on a fake smile, I want to get to the bottom of these habits and try to genuinely change them. I don't want to sink in my own doom. I want to learn to swim against those currents and overcome those deeply rooted habits that hold me back from being the person that I am truly meant to be.

So, I invite you to do a little searching of your own self. What traits or habits would you like to work on? Being honest with yourself is the first step to change. The second step is realizing that we are all in some sort of "training". Be patient, but be diligent. We can all become better people if we truly try. And I truly want to try.


*photo from here.

Truly You

Since making a conscious decision to be more true to myself in the coming year, it seems that I have run across all sorts of supportive words and images. Don't you love when that happens?

I have been feeling like my role in life is being determined by other people. What I do with my day is increasingly being decided by someone else. And who I am as a person is being molded by what others expect of me. I'm tired of it. I believe that God made every one of us to be a unique individual. We have different ideas and preferences that set us apart from each other. It's up to us to be the person that we are meant to be.

I read an article in the January issue of Marie Claire about the philanthropist, Jennifer Buffett. In it, she talks about losing her voice and identity in trying to support her husband in all of his efforts and projects. She believes that women are too often thrown into the supporting role and lose sight of who they are.

"I don't think the traditional female role serves us. I think it serves men. When somebody is subordinating themselves, it's just too easy for the other person to take them for granted and not value them. We need to start to say no. You think you are being selfless in giving, but you're being a martyr. Self-care is not a selfish act."

I think that some men are guilty of the same thing, though. Too many of us are fulfilling someone else's dream.

The December issue of Women's Health had an interesting interview with actress Amber Heard. She is bravely honest and unapologetic about who she is, even in the public eye. I love what she says about it.

"You can't respect yourself if you're afraid to be who you are. It requires bravery to do something no one else around you is doing."

I realize that society puts certain restrictions on everyone, from how we dress for the job to how we act in public places. And there is nothing wrong with that. Rules and boundaries make the world go around. But it would be a shame to get so used to these rules and boundaries that we let them apply to every aspect of our lives. Are you brave enough to be your true self? To stand up for what you believe in? To wear what you want to wear? To listen to the music that you love? And sing out loud in your car? Do you know what you want out of life? Do you respect your own desires?

Are you with me on being more true to yourself in 2012? It never hurts to have a support group, you know. I'll try to be truly me and you try to be truly you. What do you say?



*photo

Tis' the Season

So, dolls......how is your week going so far?

More than the fact that it's almost Christmas (two more days!), I am really trying to take in the fact that it's almost 2012!!! Seriously?

Although I have somehow managed to feel like I have a accomplished a few things this year, I still have more things that I want to work towards. One of those things is to be more true to myself. Since I was in high school I have had a little note hanging on my pin board that says "To Thine Own Self Be True". It is, hands down, one of my very favorite quotes in the whole entire world. But as simple as it sounds, being true to yourself is honestly quite a challenge. Do you agree?

As much as I would like to believe the fairy tale ideal that love brings out the best in us, in reality we all tend to sacrifice parts of our being for the sake of relationships. I'm sure that we all hate to admit it, but take a second to think about it. Relationships, and life in general, have a way of chipping away at our true identities. For example...... there have been many times that I have thought "Oh. I can't wear that. The hub would think I'm out of my head." Or "I would love to cut my hair like this, but my dad would completely dis-own me."

I don't want to define my life by someone else's standards. I want to be the strange, random, creative person that God made me to be. And if I end up stepping on a few toes along the way, or if my husband thinks I'm a complete loon, then so be it.

Tis' the season to let your light shine, darlings. Even if that light happens to be a strobe.


*bad ass pic from here.