Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Lack Thereof

Wanna hear something ridiculous?
I haven't put my Christmas tree up. What's worse? I don't really plan on putting it up. Does this make me a bad person?

I've been dealing with bouts of depression lately. Lots of crying for no apparent reason. No desire to do anything at all. A short fuse and an even shorter attention span.

It's been quite a while since I have had to deal with any serious depression. I had been doing so good for so long. And, honestly, I am managing to hold it together quite well. Thank God this isn't as bad as it has been in the past. But after not seeing this side of myself for so long, it has been quite disturbing to have to face it yet again.

Although I am doing better, bit by bit, I still do not have the slightest interest in getting things all gussied up for the holidays. So, I'm just wondering........ am I the only one? Have any of you ever skipped the whole Christmas tree, sparkly lights, decoration thing? Actually, depression issues aside, am I the only one who dreads having to put the tree up every year? It's such a monumental task and I hate doing it. Usually I find it worth the effort to sit and stare at the lights, but not this year. What about you? Do you enjoy the task? Be totally honest with me. I want to know.

*from here.


annelise said...

Pah, Christmas is overrated. I have this discussion with my mother every year, especially when it comes to the ridiculous amounts of money that is spent on presents. I enjoy the lunch we have - all 18 or so of us - but the way people turn into maniacs around this time of year kind of disgusts me. We only put our tree up on the weekend to distract my niece and nephew who were arguing over toys! Otherwise, it would still be in its box.

The tree does look lovely, though. All twinkly and pretty. Maybe, if the thought of putting up a huge tree is too overwhelming, just get a really small one? Or put some decorations up around the house?

As for the depression ... what a bitch. I hate that crying for no reason thing. I haven't had it for such a long time but I know it's still there, waiting. Maybe give into it for a while? Curl up on the couch with a book or a DVD, stay in bed, etc. Give yourself permission to do it so you don't lie there feeling guilty. That might help. (I really hate talk like 'give yourself permission'. It's so ... Oprah.) Take care, sweetheart. xxx

Dawn said...

I have felt like that...but I always MAKE myself do it. And then I feel a bit better.
I wish I could come put it up for you...and then take it down again.


Come over and sit with me in front of my sparkly lights. I have wine.....

Matt said...

Soooo not decorating. No interest. No one else in the house to really enjoy it and Christmas day elsewhere anyway. Will have a tree somewhere else.

Hope you can find a way to raise your spirits an d enjoy Christmas however.


Jen said...

Hey, I know, let's go grab a few beers and forget about the holidays, depression and anxiety for awhile!!