Advice to Men

Never marry a woman that will not allow you to see her without makeup. 

I was just perusing the hair and makeup board on Pinterest and was overwhelmed at all the instructions on facial contouring.  One can do amazing things with makeup.  And, hey...who doesn't enjoy a new look every now and then?

But beware of those ladies who never go out by the light of day without full war paint on.  Chances are, she is probably lacking in some very important self esteem and confidence levels. 

Or there is the very real possibility that she does not, in fact, look like a Kardashian. 

Thinking About.....Beauty

from here.

As you already know, I am a bit of a magazine-aholic.  But recently I have been dropping subscriptions left and right.  Magazines, oddly enough, are starting to get on my nerves.  Not all magazines; namely those that focus on fashion and beauty. 

Just to be completely honest with you, I am getting really sick and tired of reading about what I should be doing to make myself look younger.  Do you feel the same way?  It seems that every magazine I open is obsessively devoting their pages to scientific studies and lists of chemicals and products that I should be searching out and saving my money for.  Big crazy words that I can't pronounce and am not sure that I would even want to slather on my body.  Expensive and scary sounding medical procedures for everything you can possibly imagine.  The latest "super foods" and vitamin cocktails.  It's enough to make you crazy!

And all in the name of what?  Not accepting our own age?  Avoiding the inevitable? 
What ever happened to "growing old gracefully"? 

I am not bothered by the fact that women want to look younger than they are.  That's just human nature.  But I am bothered that women think that twenty-somethings are the only beautiful people in the world.  I am 31 years old and I get more comfortable in my own skin with every year that passes.  Yes, I would love to fill the crevice that runs between my eyebrows.  I would like for my hands to look  more youthful.  And I dread the lines that are forming around my mouth.  But that's part of life!  It's part of growing older.  Would you believe me if I told you that  I snicker every time I spy a new gray hair shining in my dark brown mop?  I sort of get a kick out of it.  And I am tired of being told that I need to cover those silver strands up and rub three different creams around my eyes at night and inject a filler into my forehead. 

I am not going to promise that I won't end up coloring my hair.  And I definitely won't promise that I won't have the veins in my legs injected at some point.  But I just wish that the main focus of the fashion and beauty industry would shift away from anti-aging miracles.  I wish that there were more examples of beautiful women who choose to age naturally, and do it with grace and panache.  I wish that we were all more open to see the beauty in maturity. 

And, for Heaven's sake, magazines!!!  Can't you find anything better to talk about? 
What do you think?  Chime in.  Tell me how all the pressure to look young makes you feel.  

This Post Is Not What You Think It Is.

Girls don't just simply decide
to hate their bodies.
We teach them to.

Ladies and gents, Miz. Jo is getting ready to break bad on the interwebs. Are you ready?

I ran across that quote the other day and automatically had to save it. How our society is raising young girls is something that I feel very strongly about and hope desperately that we can change. Low self esteem, self worth issues and eating disorders are rampant in our perfection obsessed world. And the two main things that are fostering these unhealthy views of the female form are photo re-touching and cosmetic surgery. Two things that have nothing to do with reality. No one is teaching our children that the photographs in magazines and catalogs are all digitally enhanced and perfected. No one is pointing out how many bodies are surgically produced. All of this "beauty" that our world is ingesting in gluttonous proportions is all fake. And little girls think that they are supposed to grow up to look like super models, actresses, pop singers and porn stars. And little boys expect them to do the same.

This disturbs me. Greatly.

But there is something else that is starting to disturb me even more.

I found that photo up there on Pinterest. Lovely, isn't it? Wouldn't most women love to have an ass like that? And that is the exact reason that someone pinned that photo. As inspiration. But some of the comments I am seeing on photos like this are really getting under my skin. On this particular photo someone had commented that the model looks "scary thin". That her shoulder blades jut out too far. That her waist is smaller than a child's. Another photo that I saw was a before and after photo of a young woman after some serious health and lifestyle changes. She had lost a bit of weight and gained some beautiful muscle. Her weight was down to 110, but she looked healthy and fit. Regardless, the readers started bashing her for being "too small". Quoting what the "healthy" weight was supposed to be for someone her height. And, worst of all, saying that she looked better before.

Okay now. This is where my blood starts to boil.

Nothing in me wants young girls to think that they need to look like a Victoria's Secret model. Nothing in me wants them to feel like they need to get breast implants and liposuction to be beautiful. But telling them that being out of shape and unhealthy is more beautiful than being strong and taking care of themselves is just absurd! This entire issue is about being mentally and physically healthy, isn't it? Well, guess what? Not working out and not making nutritious food choices is dangerous, too. True. We can't all look like super models. But we can all work hard to be the best version of ourselves that we can be. And I personally believe that this is what we need to be teaching young girls to do. There is a blurry line drawn between what society proclaims to be too "fat" or too "thin". But every single body out there is different. And what is healthy for one is not always what is healthy for another. Despite what department store clothing may suggest, we are not cookie cutter people. We did not all come from the same mold. We are as varied as the stars.

And this is where it gets personal.

Why do the "too skinny" comments disturb me just as much as the "too fat"? Well, because I have always been that "too skinny" girl. I am 5' 7" and weigh anywhere from 107-112 lbs. depending on the day. The charts in the doctor's offices have always preached that I was "too skinny". I have never worked out in public, nor do I talk about working out because I get fussed at. People roll their eyes if I skip dessert. Ditto if I order a big salad instead of a pasta dish. I have never turned down a dinner roll that I didn't hear "yeah, like it's gonna hurt you. you could stand to put some meat on your bones." And so, I have always tried my hardest to "put some meat on my bones", in the form of muscle. My nutrition choices are based on what makes me feel better and perform better. And my workouts are to insure that I always stay strong and capable instead of soft and frail. I have always had a very healthy body image and therefore always tried to make responsible and wise decisions regarding my body. It's a good thing that I have always took the snide remarks and quizzical looks in stride. Otherwise, the teasing about my skinny arms and flat chest could have driven me mad. But I have always chosen my health over what society keeps yelling at me. I have never been told by a doctor that I needed to gain weight or quit working out. The charts may say otherwise, but I am a healthy weight for my body design.

Now, I don't know the girl in that picture. I can't tell you what she had for breakfast or how many hours a week she works out. But I can bet that she isn't "scary thin". She has a nice full booty. And see those dimples and that dent at the base of her back? That usually comes from good muscle tone. If she were too skinny you would not be seeing that. If it is a good practice to inform girls that some people are just made bigger and that their healthy size and shape may never be a size 2, then it is only fair to acknowledge that some people are made smaller and their healthy size and shape may never be a size 6. Both are equally valid.

Girls are told exactly what every single aspect of their being is "supposed" to look like. From their hair to their cheekbones to the shape of their nose. From the size of their breasts to the size of their hips. For heaven's sakes, people. They are even doing cosmetic surgery on women's genitals. When will it stop? When will we all figure out that there is no "perfect" formula? We are all unique and special and that is what makes us beautiful. Our differences. Teach young girls that their bodies are not supposed to look like the artificial versions that they see on television and in magazines. And men! Your role in letting women know that natural is beautiful is even more important than ours. The same encouraging words can be much more powerful coming from a man than coming from another woman.

But please......Please! Please! Please! Please! Please!...... don't ever tell a female that striving to be the best version of herself that she can be is not beautiful. Being healthy is not about what we see in the mirror, although positive physical results are an encouraging side effect. Being healthy is about the myriad of benefits that come with it. Vitality. A sense of accomplishment. Strength. Self worth. and yes. Beauty. Because the human body is a beautiful thing. The more you love and respect it, the more beauty you will find in it.

This is what we need to be teaching.

Natural Beauty

Sometimes we run across things that have such deep beauty that they make us stop in our tracks. This week I ran across an artist whose work made me do just that.

Joycelyn Merchant is the artist behind these magnificent pieces that had me enraptured from the moment I laid eyes on them.



Joycelyn hand crafts each piece completely anew, so no two are exactly alike. Each one carries individualized marks and character from hand forging techniques. This is not a story of reproducing a great design over and over. This is a story of personally breathing life into each and every leaf that she creates. And she has been creating these beauties since 1977. No wonder they look like they could have been plucked straight from the tree.


Her earrings, pins and pendants come in three finishes. Silver, gold and that gorgeous copper. Each one is just as beautiful as the last. The only question is which one to choose.

Take a moment this weekend to check out Joycelyn's store one Etsy, aptly named ginkgo. I promise that the only artist who can make these leaves any prettier is the Artist who made the trees themselves.

Greener Grass

Do you ever find yourself contradicting the natural way of things? I have noticed that I tend to do it a lot. One of the most noticeable places that I do this is in fashion and beauty.


It's not even really summer here yet, and my brain is longing for things that feel like fall. Let me explain. Last week I painted my nails a gorgeous deep aubergine color. Very fall. And I loved it. It was so beautiful. I very, very rarely even paint my nails, but now I am going to have to actually resist the urge to keep them aubergine all summer. I just planted lots of new plants today in my flower beds. Marigolds, coleus, dusty miller. All late summer/early fall showstoppers. I passed on the pansies, petunias and begonias. Classic summer flowers. When I should be wearing corals, pinks, turquoise and pastels.... I am drawn to dark purples, indigo, forest green and gold. And I have been regularly spraying on my Burberry perfume, which is a distinctive cold weather scent. Very cozy and sensual smelling.

The crazy thing? When fall and winter rolls around, I will break out my bright colors. I always do. I will once again gravitate towards things that feel like summer. Gap Grass perfume. Bright pink lip gloss. Sunny make-up palettes.


It's not that I am wishing my seasons away. Lord knows I hate cold weather. But it does seem that my brain has been hardwired backwards when it comes to seasonal choices. Indeed, I realize that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the calendar. But maybe the green will be a grassier shade when I get there.

*photo from Everything Fabulous.

Get It Together

*photo from French Vogue via { a glamorous little side project }


I thought that, by now, I would not have acne.

I thought that, by now, I would be able to successfully curl my own hair.

I thought that, by now, I would have my own career.

I thought that I would not be going grey already. I thought that I would have my own house by now. I thought that being voted most talented in middle school and high school was some good omen that I might end up doing something fabulous with my life.

Guess what. I was wrong.

I have always known that I am not much of a motivated person. Other people set goals. Other people are go-getters. Other people end up being stylist and designers and event coordinators at the age of twenty two. I am not one of those people. I have big ideas. I have dreams. I have the someday syndrome. You know what I'm talking about. Someday I'm going to make enough money to build the home that I want. Someday I'm going to have the job of my dreams. Someday I will have beautiful long shiny hair, perfect makeup, real diamond studs in my ears, two gorgeous dobermans and a black SUV. Okay. So anyway, you get the idea. But you know what happens? Someday never comes. They really shouldn't have read us fairy tales when we were young. I keep waiting for the fairy godmother to show up and make things happen. She's a little late.

So now what? What am I getting at? Well. I have been trying to get out of the someday mode and into the now. Yoga teaches mindfulness. Paying attention to what is happening right here, right now at this point in time. And I think that I need to think like this more. I need to quit planning and just do. Quit daydreaming and start going for it. Gees. Sounds a little scary.

But, hey. Someday is getting closer all the time.