Monday, August 31, 2009

::: Blank :::

I'm feeling rather blank .

I have so much stuff going on in my head. Lists of everything I need to do, groceries I need to pick up, cleaning that needs to be done, other random chores. And then the things I want to do, ideas to work on, things to create, recipes to try, so on and so forth. And in the midst of all this clutter is just ::blank::. The start of a new season always throws me off. Particularly spring and fall. And fall is edging its way in very quickly lately. I don't know what it is (I never really do), but I'm just feeling like something is off kilter. I hate this feeling. I was driving down the highway the other day thinking "Something just doesn't feel right." And there's no good reason for it. No explanation. So, I'm gonna rant randomly until I feel better. Okay?

I have to go to the grocery store. I hate the grocery store. I put it off until I go home for lunch and realize that there isn't one flippin' thing in my cabinets that could be a justifiable meal. The grocery store on a Monday, right after work = dread.

I am a magazine addict. It's a problem. But it's a problem I'm working on. I'm going to say something that is going to be considered sacrilege in some circles. This is scary. Are you sure you want to keep reading? I think I'm not going to re-subscribe to Vogue. Yeah. Seriously. I'm tired of it. I just can't find any way that it relates to my own life anymore. It's way out there. Way over on the holier than thou side of the fashion industry. That's all I'm sayin.

Since I'm on a honesty kick here...... Let's talk about Etsy. Is it just me, or do you sometimes log on and think "This is the biggest pile of garage sale tacky crap that I have ever seen."? We all know there is some serious mad crazy talent on Etsy. But there is also some stuff on there that makes you wonder. You gotta admit it. Am I right? Some things just should not be crocheted. End of story. And don't even get me started on some of the prices.

I could go on. I mean, I'm finishing this post at my mom's house because I couldn't finish it at work. And I'm sick at my stomach thinking about having to go back to work. I came up here (to mom's) because I'm tired of being in my house which is very old and drafty and smells like mildew. I'm tired of the kitchen sink always smelling funky even though nothing is in it. I'm tired of looking at the floor that I just mopped being covered in dirt that the hubby tracked in. I'm tired as heck of hearing my dog bark non-stop, as if to inform me that he's still out there. "Sarge, I know you are out there buddy. I know where you are. Now shut up."

I'm not really bitter right now, although it may seem that way. I'm really just tired of the crap. And I want to have that whole centered feeling that my yoga magazine is always bragging about. I want to wake up in the morning and smile instead of grunt and cover my head. I want to enjoy myself. That's just not happening right now.

AaaaaAHHHAHHhhhhHHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!!!! That's all I got.

* photo by me


Elise said...

Sometimes you just get in a funk. Nothing happens, every day is the same, stuff never changes. I keep waiting for something exciting to happen but at the moment, it's all about my grandmother which is not so fun. Excitement-wise, a new relationship is what would do it for me but that's not looking very likely.

Hope this mood shifts, it's a sucky one.

Oh yeah, I had a crippling magazine habit which I kicked. Such a waste of money, especially when all the stuff I look at is online anyway. I never could be bothered with Vogue, I don't take my clothes seriously enough for that.

Julia (Color Me Green) said...

i relate to soo much of this. i've been telling my boyf that i don't have a sense of balance in my life for a while now. my mind is full of things i feel like i need to do, but don't have time or inclination to accomplish them. i haven't done a big clean of the new place because *why bother* if the dogs are just going to track in more dirt and it's just going to be messy and dusty again the next day. i know getting into regular routines and exercising again would help, but it's hard to find time for the gym when i have to be the one to come home after work to take care of the dogs. i'm finally going to have a day to myself on friday, maybe i can sort myself out then.