Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Mean Girls

I've been thinking about the dynamics of female relationships lately. I have never had many close female friends, myself. And, to be honest with you, every once in a while I will wonder if maybe that is my own fault. But, the older I get and the more I see and hear, the more I believe that finding a good female friend is an almost impossible task. And such a shame that is.

Why is it that girls like to tear each other down? I know you have all seen it happen. You know what I'm talking about. Many women just love to talk bad about other women. It seems to me to be a jealousy issue for the most part. For instance, the girls who rip apart every little thing about their ex's new girlfriend. "She isn't even pretty." "I hear she's been around." "Boy, is he gonna regret that." Knowing good and well that she is pretty, she isn't a tramp, and he seems to like her very much.
Or the ones who trash talk the pretty girl in the mall. "Did you see that hideous thing she's wearing? Who does she think she is?" But you don't know her. She may be just as insecure as you under that tight skirt.

I have been guilty of throwing out some less than sensitive remarks about other females. I'm sure we all have, if we tell the truth. But I'm hearing it more and more it seems. And it bothers me. We live in a society that constantly judges women on all the wrong attributes. We get compared to models and airbrushed celebrities. Many men have always judged women by their sexual worth, but since when do women judge other women by those same standards (or lack thereof)? Helllloooo? We are women! We are bright and funny and interesting. We have feelings and ideas and morals. We should be building each other up instead of tearing each other down! Don't you agree?

What have you done this week to encourage and build up a female in your life? Or when was the last time you complimented a complete stranger on her haircut/sweater/earrings? Let's all try our best to not be mean girls. Let's, instead, do our best to bring a smile to the face of our fellow females. Let's be sunshine girls. That sounds good. Because Lord knows we could all use a little sunshine in our life.

Love to all of you wonderful, encouraging, positive, inspiring, funny, thoughtful and generous ladies out there. Here's to you.

*pic from Coco & Kelley.


Elise said...

Man. I am guilty of this every now and then. Who isn't?

It's such a shame, as a group, we are so powerful and strong but it just takes one little comment to tear us all down.

Being a sunshine girl sounds good.

Sarah (Buzz) said...

You are so right! Your post definitely got me thinking, and me and my friends do that a lot. But if I was honest with myself I'd say the person I put down the most is me. What is wrong with us girls lately??? Why can't we love each other and ourselves?!?! I love your blog, its so chic. Visit my fashion blog :)

Sarah Klassen said...

Thank you for such a great post! I completely agree with you 100%. Last week, I was shopping with my Mom, and shared a realization I had: women make other women unhappy. Which is, exactly as you mentioned, tearing us down.

A good friend was over one day and was appalled that I didn't mind if my boyfriend did his own thing without me, ie. watch t.v. She was, in fact, putting her expectations of her husband on me, of my boyfriend. I don't mind in the least, as we spend a great deal of time together,(my boyfriend and I) but are also comfortably independent. Women spend far too much time putting doubt or fear or concern in other women's minds, when really, it shouldn't be there. Why not look at in a positive light? Be encouraging!

As far as judgment goes, I agree, there is far too much, especially as far as looks. I try to, on a regular basis, compliment the people in my life, or even strangers for that matter. I have been so bold as to walk up to a lady and compliment her purse. You never know how you might make a person's day -- my Grandma has always said :)

p.s sorry for the mile long comment!

little lost love said...

Amazing post!

Like you, I had been wondering why I didn't have many close girlfriends, and had told myself it was because girls are mean and jealous, I guess going to an all girls school and then straight into an all-female work environment didn't help either.

It's only now in the last year that I have found a loving, creative, like-minded and accepting group of friends, and guess what? I met most of them through blogging! Hurrah!

Thanks so much for getting us thinking, you are so right, girls are mean!

xx Hollie