Saturday, July 9, 2011

About a Wedding

I promised you a wedding story. And you are going to get one. But first, I want to thank all of you for the compliments on everything in the last few posts. I know I say it a lot, but you guys are the greatest. A few specific replies, though.......... Amber- there will be 10 of the hand dyed bags in all with one more Luna. Jen- You are such a doll. And that tattoo covers half my back. You're only seeing a glimpse. ;) and Matt- plenty more happened. Trust me.

Now that I've said all that..... let's start with the arts and crafts!

First piece of evidence: You know those photo frames that they get everyone to sign in on? That's what this is. They wanted it embellished instead of just plain ol' white. So I embellished it with pink flowers. Excited yet?

Then there were hand lettered cards to go on all the goodies. Sparklers, seed packets, flip-flops, and so on and so forth. I decided to use song lyrics that would go with each.
It is quite annoying when people look at these and say "Oh, you have such pretty handwriting." This is not handwriting, darlings. This involved mapping out letter sizes and spacing, hand drawing in pencil and then going over them in ink and giving them all their pretty curves. Very labor intensive stuff. There was also a wooden sign, but you don't get to see it. (The couple may not want their names advertised. Just saying.)

Also hand lettered some signs for the front rows. These were done with paint, though. Not ink.

And then there was cake. Let me just go ahead and tell you........ this cake was a nightmare. To begin with, each tier is made of two layers. The bottom (and largest) tier had a sliding problem. The cake just broke apart and slid like the banks of a river. This happens in cake making. But considering that mom added all this stuff to the cake to make it firmer, this should not have happened. Oh, but it did. And we had to scrape the whole top layer of the bottom tier off and bake a new one. That equals two cake mixes. Just like this.......

Yes. Wasted cake and icing. Mom was sick about it. I actually have a picture of her flipping the cake off, but I'm keeping that one for myself, too. Now you can see that it was confetti cake. The bride wanted confetti cake. And a ribbon. We are not very fond of ribbons on cakes, but when that is what the bride wants, that is what the bride gets. On with the story....

The grooms cake turned out great (thank the dear Lord). I made this baby myself. Mom baked the pound cake. I carved it and did all the fancy fondant work. It was a big hit. People actually didn't believe that it was a cake. I just about had a heart attack when I witnessed a woman try to pick it up by the bill.

Baseball cap on a slice of wood. The groom is a football fan and a logger. There you go.

Okay. Now let's finish this story about the wedding cake. We fixed the bottom layer. Mom put the base icing on all three layers. And then I came in and added the detailing. Little vines and leaves and flowers and such. The pics aren't that clear, but the cake was iced off white with super white detailing. And it looked great when we loaded it in the car Friday evening. Each layer was secured in it's own box to be assembled on site. And then the long, slow 40 minute drive.
Everything went great, despite the heat and humidity, until we reached the venue. When you pay a small fortune for a place to have your wedding, one would just expect that they would have a decent road into the joint. But, hell no! They have a long gravel driveway. And not just any gravel, but that large gravel that is sort of like driving over small boulders. Cakes with real icing (not fondant) really hate to be jiggled. Especially for a good three quarters of a mile.

When we reached the top.......... the whole side of the top layer had jiggled right off. Heat, humidity, bad roads. Bad combination. But we handled the situation. Mom smoothed the icing back onto the sides, but half of the design was lost. And there was no fixing that.

So, as you can see, the vines and leaves and such on top just sort of disappear. But at least it had icing on it! May I please re-emphasize the fact that we are not big fans of ribbons on cakes. But the bride wanted the bow to match the one on her dress.
Mom swears that this is her last wedding cake. I don't blame her one bit. For any of you wondering why so many bakers use fondant religiously these days, it is because fondant can hide a multitude of sins. It tastes terrible and has to be peeled off, but it can cover all the bulges and sags and sweating that comes with the territory. Sort of like putting a girdle on your cake.

At the end of the day, the happy couple didn't even seem to notice that part of their cake was missing. But me and mom did, and it will forever irk the crap out of me that there were no designs on half of the top layer. But, oh well. It's just a cake. Life goes on.

And there you go, my dears. The story of the wedding cake.
I'm sure you are so excited that you can't stand it. Now, if you will excuse me, I must go find something for lunch.

Hugs and Sunshine to you all. Happy weekend!


Sarah Knight said...

Sounds like quite a time : )

annelise said...

Man, you're talented. The cakes look amazing, especially the cap. Looks fantastic.

And the 'handwriting' is so beautiful. Have you thought about adding wedding invitations to your Etsy shop? I'm sure people would pay handsomely for invitations that looked like that.

Dawn said...

Hahahahaha...Oh I LOVE this post!!!!!
I used to make cakes...and I could picture the entire thing...and the feelings which came about because of the ups/downs of it all!
"Girdle for a cake":))) Perfect description:)))

They ARE Perfect from here:)))