Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Let's talk about things I can't afford and why the economy is screwed.

Today we are going to take a little shopping trip via the ever popular Net-A-Porter. Apparently, they carry all the coolest stuff from all the coolest designers. Please join me as I make a few selections and chat about what I would have to give up to own them.

Let's begin, shall we? *Carine Gilson - $290

Oh, the hot pink is an eye catcher! Yes, your eyes don't deceive you. This is indeed a garter belt. Essentially a few strands of silk ribbon adorned with a lace doily. This darling right here would cost me roughly a week's pay minus enough gas to fill up my car and a Happy Meal. Now that you know which income bracket I am in......................

* Alexander McQueen - $260

let's talk about this very edgy silk scarf with skulls on it. I could buy a dang good self-propelled lawn mower with that much money. This is a scrap of fabric. Those greedy silk worms and their picket lines. Always demanding more money for their work. Of course, I understand. It's tough work for those silk worms to weave those skulls into the design.

*Acne - $375

I have been looking for a good pair of jeans under $50 bucks. Obviously, I am asking too much of this highly intelligent society. For $375 I stayed in a room of my very own for an entire week in May on beach front property with a swimming pool and my own private bath. Vacation? or a pair of jeans? Hmmm. You gotta pay extra for them to wear those perfectly placed holes in the denim. It takes a while.

*Adam - $475

Oh, this one is my favorite. A $475 dollar t-shirt. Whyyyeeeeeiiiii? Why does this t-shirt cost so much? I just don't understand. My little brain cannot comprehend this. Let's see..... what can I get for $475? A month's worth of groceries. Enough oil to heat the house for a season. Or 30 sparkly t-shirts from Wal-Mart. (that's just an estimate. don't take it too seriously.)

** This just in: paillette sequin demand is way up. costs soar to $1.00 per paillette. **

*Cutler and Gross - $490
And last, but definitely not least, a lovely pair of mirrored aviators. Hand carved out of industrial strength plastic by skilled artisans, not only do they shade your eyes from deathly rays of sunlight, but they are also a true work of art. Each tiny spring and screw is hand machined by fairies and then sprinkled with sparkly fairy dust to prevent rust. Okey, so not really. But they should be.
Now let me just say that I am a huge fan of fashion design. I subscribe to a hefty pile of fashion and beauty magazines and pride myself in knowing the names and styles of certain designers. But I must just say this....... WHO DO THESE PEOPLE THINK THEY ARE????? Is it just me, or is there something deeply wrong about a society who can sell a t-shirt for a week's salary? I apologize for ranting on and on, but I get really irritated when I read articles about the recession and "closet shopping" and choosing the right "statement piece" to go along with your wardrobe staples. Some of these fashionistas act like it would be a crime to wear a pair of jeans that cost less than $100. But what the hell is the difference? I have owned Paper Denim & Cloth, Miss Sixty, Seven for all Mankind, Adriano Goldwhatevertheheck and Miss Me jeans (all that I paid under $20 for) and I can honestly say that they are not worth $150 more than the $39 Bullhead jeans that I bought the other day. So, essentially, all you are paying for is a name. A tag. A little insignia on the back pocket. And that is totally ridiculous. No wonder our economy is screwed all to heck.
I am going to shut up now, even though I could keep going. But I'm sure you are tired of reading. That is............ if you made it this far. And if you did, Thank You. I appreciate your dedication.
With Much Love and Respect,


Julia (Color Me Green) said...

haha i loved this! hm jeans or a vacation, whichever should i choose?! yeah i don't get designer clothing either. i don't get who buys it. actually no i take that back, it's the same ppl who have INSANE amounts of money that i deal with in my line of work. it's so weird how media propagates that everyone should try to afford this stuff. i hated the "recession issue" of a popular new york magazine in which all the "cheaper" stuff they recommended was still out of my normal price range.

Elise said...

The only two things you missed is paying $500 for a pair of shoes and $1000 for a bag.

Lady, I hear ya. It's absolutely ridiculous. How can anyone justify spending so much money on a piece of clothing? More money than sense, I suppose. It grinds my gears too.

PS. I especially liked the fairies. I wonder how much they get paid?